Shoot for the Moon...

So it's time to be painfully honest- again.
I'm my own worst enemy.
I've taken all the big moments in my life that have screamed YES to the will of God and shut them down in two words "I'm waiting".
Tonight God asked me; "Waiting on what?"
It seems that this is a lesson I have to continually learn. God didn't create in me a spirit of lack, but of more than I could ever want!!

My whole life I've had big, crazy, abnormal, out of this world dreams and I've lived in a fairy land of these dreams with just me and God. When I went to Spain I shared a lot of these dreams for the first time, and saw them come to life in me for the first time so that other people could see what I was seeing- or I tried to get them to see what I was seeing.
But for some stupid reason when I got home life took it's toll.
I woke up for the first time in my life and realized these big, crazy dreams I'd been living with weren't so apparent to every one else.
I heard; "What are you going to do with your life"
And when I told people my big crazy dreams they responded with: "How are you going to pay the bills?"
So I began to wonder, How am I going to pay the bills?
And the quest for a job became more than just a way to meet my needs but an obsession to survive in this ever worsening economy.
Soon I began to hear "When are you going to school?"
And when I told them I heard "But what if that doesn't work out?"
And I began to panic, what if it doesn't work out? What if I'm not smart enough, not dedicated enough, not this that and the other enough?
For five months I let myself unravel everything that God had built in me for 20 years.
This past week though God began opening doors. Taking little steps very quickly to prove he was working this out his way.

Last month I had two jobs in one week hire out from under me.
But in one week I've had two stores hire me this month.
First it was subway, which isn't my ideal job, but hey it's money and they begged me to work for them.
Then I got a weekend break and went to an art show where I saw my talents recognized for the first time in my life! THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE PEOPLE WANTED MY ART!
When I got home I saw my schedule for Subway, 4 hours, they can only promise me 4 hours a week.
So today when I was taking my sister to work, God provided another job, a coffee shop wants me to come and work for them. The owner wants my ideas, and my talents, he wants my world view and my laid back attitude.

I can see God is speaking to me so much, he's telling me it's okay to dream big again. That life should deflate the big dreams he's given me. I live in his world, a world of big, crazy dreams and if people don't like the answers, they can take it up with him.
As I've said before, I'm living his plan now, so I don't have to worry about what others think.
I'm striving forward, I'm going to reach my dreams, and I'm going to gain great things.
To tell you the truth, the real world sucked, I'd much rather live in the dreams that God has given me.