When I decided to move out I told my family my plan. Get a cheap apartment and be a hermit. I was met with a lot of very well meaning oppositions. "Won't that be expensive?" "You'll be lonely" "Go ahead and look for a cheap two bedroom, you'll want a roommate, I promise you that." While it is expensive, it's exactly what I wanted. I'm an extremely independent woman and I want to be able to do things for myself.
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| I had to Upgrade to a bigger cart |
This weekend was the first weekend in a long time that I had any extra cash. Here lately it's been a struggle just to keep myself and the afore mentioned cat fed. (Seriously why isn't he internet famous yet?) With the little bit of extra cash I have I decide that it's time for me to take care of a few things around the house that are bothering me. I needed curtains for the bedroom, a tv stand for the living room, new rug, some storage bits for the laundry room, and a lamp.
(Are you bored yet? This is a super long set up.)
As I'm walking through Ikea, weaving through couples and families I begin to notice something. I'm the only one alone. Which doesn't bother me. What does bother me is the looks I begin to get. Especially as my cart fills up. I begin to get a look I've become very accustomed to living on my own. "That poor girl, she has no one to take care of her." It's a look I've come to despise.
As I mentioned before I want to live alone. What a lot of people don't know about me is that I also don't want any one to take care of me. I value my independence. The idea of having a spouse to wash the car, take care of the bank statements, hang the curtains, put together the pace board furniture doesn't appeal to me. In fact at this point in my life having a spouse all together doesn't sound great. (Well apart from a few reasons I won't mention because my parents are probably reading this.) (That's a joke Mum ;D ) (Ohmygod someone help me get out this whole I'm digging myself into.)(I know it's ironic that I'm asking for help in a blog about independence!)
The Ikea story is one in a long line of of these looks. I don't blame the people giving the looks, and I've stopped having a sense of righteous indignation about it. The speech about feminism and equality is no longer lingering on my lips daring someone to make a remark about needing a husband. In fact when people make those comments I laugh now. Low-Key sexism is funny to me because I'm secure in the fact that I don't need a man to take care of me.
I see a lot of blogs these days talking about a christian perspective on feminism. Having grown up in the church I'm ultimately excited to see that there is a shift in the thought process Christians have towards women. But this move is largely directed towards the purity culture movement. About holding men and women to the same standards of purity, and having equality between the sexes in marriage. God being the head of a house hold and all that. (I'll write another blog about this at a later date, specifically how Mum and Dad taught us this growing up. I should of wrote it on their anniversary but I totally didn't think of it until now. Worst daughter ever.)
What I don't see in this new "Jesus Was a Feminist" movement is an equality between married and unmarried women. The opinion of women seems to still be that they're not worth listening to until they've got a ring on their finger.
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| Cheers to modesty! |
I was a GCG for a long time. The only reason I'm not a GCG now is that I realized a few things.
A. I'm not a girl. I'm a grown ass woman.
B. My worth isn't defined by my chastity, my church attendance, or my living my life so no one can slander me.
C. What I say is equally important now as it will be when/if I ever get married.
If you live in a house with a bunch of other girls, or have every stopped seeing someone because you want to know if God is really calling you to be with this person please do not think I'm judging you. Because I'm not. What this blog is meant to do is draw attention to the way we're expected to act.
If you honestly feel like you shouldn't live in a co-ed house, or a multi-religious house, then do you boo. If you really feel like God told you to stop dating the guy because you were putting him (the guy) first, more power to you. I'm very sure that was a hard thing to do I respect that. But think long and hard about why you felt/feel that way about these things.
You shouldn't need to worry about how your small group leader or pastor feels about your relationships or your singleness. You're a strong christian woman. Your opinions matter now!
This blog isn't a judgey thing, so please don't miss my meaning. I'm not saying you should look down on any one because of their circumstances or choices. What I am saying is that we as women shouldn't paint our selves into a Good Christian Girl box. We are all equal in the eyes of God. We all have something to say. Psalm 139: 17 - 18 says that his thoughts for us are innumerable. In fact read all of 139, it tells us that there is no place we can escape the presence of God, that he formed us and created us with all the tender care to make us exactly who we are today.
As women, we're not excluded from the promises of God to rule and reign as co-heirs with Christ. Galations 3:28 makes this exceedingly clear. There is no more male nor female; we are all one in Christ.
For me Saturday, September 19, 2015 carrying a 54lbs tv stand up three flights of stairs I remembered that my independence isn't my stubbornness to prove that I can do things on my own. My independence is my own choice, to need no one else but God as I go through life. I don't need to be defined by the box my church has created for me. (My church wouldn't put me in a box, but again, that's another blog for another day) I'm a strong woman. I'm a Godly woman. I am a co-heir with Christ.
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| I can also assemble a tv stand in less than 45 minutes. |
You go woman!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gene! <3
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